I don’t know what I’m doing.
I think the more you accept that, the more of YOU DO KNOW what you’re doing. How about that fortune cookie logic, huh?
But no really, I think of all times I pull things out of my ass, that sentiment is what works, it’s what inspires, it’s what moves. My one digression is my attention, or deficit there of, and the focus/discipline to seeing things all the way through. I accept that. So many times, these projects of mine, THE WORK, they do get done, because I sit there thinking: “Move you’re fat ass, or you’ll have nothing to complain about later.”
So far so good.
So you may have seen a bit of an article I posted before, on 5 Books and what have you, and thought, “oh now he’s spamming us?” No, it’s not that, but me hitting the trigger, flipping the switches, and poking the monkey in its cage when it comes to this blog and seeing what else I can do with it. I feel at times that this thing is like a Swiss Pocket Knife that i’ve only used the nail file of. There is more to do. ALWAYS.
So I may use this as a weekly sort of report, to all those who subscribe, to some who peruse, and really for myself as a record of where my brain was at certain times. As we’re entering the new year, I want to do MORE, and I think I’ve gotten most of my shit together, ENOUGH, to do it. Kinda. Sorta. Yeah.
At then end of January, I plan a real fucker of a deal: I will quit smoking. After 20 years sucking on Death Sticks (which will be official on my 37th birthday) I’m already a fucking idiot for not quitting sooner, but now that the big 20 coms, its saying “That’s it, you’re done, move on, STOP FUCKING AROUND”
I do want to beat cancer to the punch but thought by now I would be doing it with a cybernetic lung, and/or dolphin implants and/or Big genetic enlightenment or SOME SHIT. But yeah the Big C is still around, I don’t have a jet pack or go to work in a FUCKING MECH, so it seems I will be quitting the old-fashioned way: CRYING AND SCREAMING.
So to combat this and get SOMETHING out of it, I plan to blog. Yes BLOGGING TO QUIT SMOKING. I guess every time I get that delicious thrill for NICK THE TEEN, I’ll take out my iPhone or get in front of one of my computers, and sling some words on a screen here. It’ll be one of the highs I will try to use to replace it, besides, running, SUCKING ON NICOTINE PRODUCTS, and maybe sucking on Robocop’s dick AKA E-CIGs. I’ll post what the spiders under my skin say on here. WISH ME LUCK.
(GOOD GOD I WANT TO HAVE SMOKE WHILE WRITING THIS)
Other than that, I may entertain doing the occasional podcast. I tried before, by myself, but thought I sounded like some sad deserted astronaut, lost in space like an asshole, belting out over the radio waves to anyone, ANYTHING, to listen to him. I did one before which I thought kicked ass, with writer/poet Chris Guillen for while, and I thought that had some cojones to it, but without a partner it’s going to be hard I think. But maybe the nicotine starved brain of mine will be better, at least I’m thinking it will be. Or I’m full of shit and fall into the same hole as before.
I mean what the fuck do I know?
Ah see, I think it’s working.
So I may do this every Sunday or so, collected of the week for the morning. Obviously what with the Holidays upon us, it may not be great to start now, but what the hell right?